The Pugnacious Pigcock is an irascible avian-porcine hybrid with a proclivity for displays of feckless aggression. When provoked, it flourishes a tail made of red-tipped elliptical feathers, which have evolved to mimic the appearance of human warheads. But don’t let the pageantry fool you. Despite its flared eyes and menacing snort crow, its blunted herbivore tusks are little threat to any who encounters them. One is more likely to be harmed by its ceaseless flatulence than anything else.
In a parallel world dominated by generative AI, the Vibe Coderpillar has evolved to become the ultimate cybernetic lifeform. It has grown two single-digit appendages for blindly typing prompts into a keyboard (that may or may not be plugged in), plus two fleshy claws exclusively for grasping their favorite brand of Blazing Hot Cheez-ohs. Its nose is upturned with an irrevocably smug smile and a VR headset permanently fused to its face. At present, the bank passwords of the entire Vibe Coderpillar civilization have been exposed to interplanetary hackers, and their collective funds are being diverted into extraterrestrial crypto accounts.
Meet Dermot the Bwog, the latest entry in the FancySchmancy Creature Feature. Not to be confused with any felt-based amphibious puppets. Dermot lives in a sewage treatment plan. He plays the ukelele. His appendages are made of hands from discarded lab cadavers. Dermot likes to sit at the foot of your bed and wait for you to fall asleep, so he can intersperse his mucous-covered fingers between your toes.
From the archives of 2016. Remember when David Pumpkins occupied the internet’s meme consciousness with the force of a hurricane? That was fun.
Another Halloween has come and gone, and if you thought I wasn’t going to draw a ridiculous amount of jack-o-lanterns this year—well, then you’re off your gourd.
Join me on Twitch to suggest prompt for the next FancySchmancy Creature Feature theme.
