The FancySchmancy Creature Feature: Parasites

As with the previous week, this past week’s theme of Parasites was inspired in no small part by the general state of affairs on planet Earth. Here are what species we discovered based on Twitch chat’s prompts.

Parasitic Pigeon

(Prompt from CeruleanOak)

Pigeons, to me, are a tragedy of mistaken identity. Often called the “rats of the sky,” they are, in fact, domesticated birds gone partially feral due to generations of neglect. Yes, they flock to your cities, because they were literally bred to occupy them.

On an alternate version of earth, not only had they gone wild, they’d gone vampire, thus wreaking their revenge on their once affectionate masters. No longer content to eat crumbs, they now feast on human flesh. Should make you thankful for your own sky rats, no?

Parasitic Landlord

(Prompt from Nipplepotomus)

In a forested world, there are stout, gnomish creatures who suck every last nutrient they can from those who occupy the land. These are the parasitic landlords, and should you fail to till their soil, their carnivorous hands will find other means of consumption. Beware eviction, for it means your devouring.

Krangfield

(Prompt by Welkhiki)

A clash of radical dimensions forged this unholy creature, a mechanized feline with no autonomy, piloted by a sentient lasagna. Its megalomaniac quest will not cease until every Monday has been eradicated.

Iron Giant Spider

(Prompt by IdhYaa)

Finally, a mistake in reassembly has resulted in this creeping abomination. While it once idealized the benevolence of Superman, it now craves only a complete body, and will perhaps roam the earth collection scraps until it can reach its former status.

The FancySchmancy Creature Feature happens every Saturday on Twitch. I am FancySchmancy, an eldritch undersea scholar on a quest to draw every creature in the multiverse. Each week, I select a theme, chat gives me prompts, and the Abyssal Bestiary selects which prompts we draw. Join me!

The FancySchmancy Creature Feature: Frigid

It’s March in New England, which means winter has yet to wane. I spent a few icy days in Boston for a trade show a couple of weeks ago, so it felt reasonable to make the word “Frigid” the theme for the Creature Feature afterwards. Here were the results:

The FancySchmancy Creature Feature: Frigid

If my avatar were married, this might be his wife’s mom, sure. And who knows, even if she is a little frigid, I like to think they get along.

The FancySchmancy Creature Feature: Frigid

Leave it to my Twitch chat to suggest something foot-related. But it gave me the idea for this amiable mimic who delights in nothing more than savoring your toenail clippings. How is it frigid, you may ask? I don’t know, maybe toenail clippings last longer in the fridge.

Also, isn’t weird that we grow toenails at all? Fingernails I understand, like they’re useful for picking and clawing and whatnot. But toenails feel superfluous, just there to grow fungus and slice your socks up. Anyway, I digress.

The FancySchmancy Creature Feature: Frigid

This one was simply based off the word “snot.” In a faraway dimension, there’s a world in which the winged nose harpies flock to more frigid climates to avoid seasonal allergies. While they can weather it with rosy ardor, their snotty offspring fair worse. However, as the nose harpy is one of this world’s apex predators, no one has the courage to let them know they’ve got clingers. So their ice-booger progeny often linger in the nostrils well into adolescence.

I don’t know what I’m writing anymore.

Dwarven Marmoset (Grewsumgary)

In their frozen world, the Dwarven Marmoset clans are the last defense against the ice serpents of the Eternal Tempest. They are known for their ferocity in battle, as well as being just so goddamn cute.

Ice-Fanged Shower Griffin (Nipplepotomus)

Based on the prompt “Shower” by Nipplepotomus. The ice-fanged shower griffin is the natural predator of Twitch chatters who refuse to take the initiative to bathe, instead relying on the streamer to coax them into proper hygiene. Not naming names here.

Join me most Saturdays around 10am EST live on Twitch to submit your prompts and watch me draw more pages in the Bestiary.

Creature Feature: Snowmen

Last Saturday was the first Christmas-themed Fancy Schmancy Creature Feature of the year, and chat delivered some ice-cold prompts.

Perhaps the most transgressive one was “snowman with big naturals and junk in the trunk.” Not going to lie, that wasn’t a single prompt, I just mashed a couple together to come up with this monstrosity. This response on Bluesky had me howling.

The second one came in from Mr. Byte: snowman realizing he owes back taxes. I like to think of this one as Frosty the Snowman coming into life as a full-grown adult, and the IRS being suspicious that he’s never had an income before.

Finally, there was this charming suggestion that I decided to fully color: Vampire Snowman. This one is available as stickers on the Fourthwall store.

Be sure to join me on the Twitch channel most Wednesday nights EST for the Fancy Schmancy Creature Feature, where I play a curious eldritch scholar on a quest to draw every beast in the multiverse with chat’s help. See you there!